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Samwell Men's Hockey Team

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Samwell Men's Hockey Team

The Samwell Men's Hockey Team plays in the Eastern College Athletic Conference. Their current coach is Coach Hall, ably assisted by Coach Murray. Denice Ford is their current team manager. They maintain samwellhockey.tumblr.com[1] and encourage their players to answer the questions in their Ask-A-Wellie section. Freshmen are typically referred to as "frogs" and incoming players are referred to as "tadpoles," until the class of 2018, who complete their freshman year and are still referred to as "The Frogs" as sophomores, making the class of 2019 freshmen "The Tadpoles."[2] After the Tadpoles, the new freshman became known as "The Waffles."[3] The known captains include Jack Zimmermann (2012-2013, 2013-2014, and 2014-2015 seasons),[4][5] Ransom and Holster (2015-2016 season),[6], Eric Bittle (2016-2017 season),[7] William Poindexter (2017-2018 season),[8] Connor Whisk (2018-2019 season)[9] and Jonathan Hopper (2019-2020 season).[9]

Culture, Traditions, and Antics[]

Hockey practice is typically very early in the mornings.[10]

There are "about ~23ish"[11][12] players on the team, most of whom are unnamed.[13]

The team tends to gather for breakfast after practice, at the "long table under the ugly portrait in Commons."[14] They are a formidable force when they appear at Samwell study breaks, consuming large amounts of food as quickly as possible.[15][16][17] The individual members have various pre-game rituals.[18]

The annual initiation ritual for the team is called Hazeapalooza (formerly Hazestock).[19] It begins at midnight, with kidnapping the freshmen while they’re in various states of consciousness and undress.[20] A mostly unexplained series of events follows, in which participants undress to their underwear, their wrists are bound with hockey tape, and they are made to kneel in the center of the ice at Faber, surrounded by pylons made into torches, after which they are made to howl in unison.[19] After Bitty becomes the captain, he changes it to a week-long event called Haze by Hazewest wherein the team fines each of the incoming freshman for an offense committed by one, the freshman have to carry around a blanket with them for the week and at the end, the freshmen are forced to figure skate at Faber.[21]

The team has a group text, the contents of which are sometimes revealed by Bitty.[22][23][24][25][26][27][28][29] There is also an e-mail distribution list, which Bitty uses for announcements of his cooking.[30]

Some Samwell Men's Hockey fans have created a twitter for Jack Zimmermann's ass.[31]

Upon returning to campus for Spring Semester 2015, the team cleared off a section of the pond to play a game of shinny.[32][33]

On Valentine's Day 2015, someone brought a sign to warm-ups which read "yo marry me Jack Zimmermann."[34] Shitty offered cash to procure it[35] and it ended up at the Haus[36] where Bitty took it up to Shitty's room for him[37] and was caught holding it by Jack.[38][39][40]

The team attended Lardo's junior art show in spring 2015, at which there was a strict dress code and an open bar.[41]

On a road trip in spring 2015, they collectively engaged in a debate about which would be worse: 1,000 cockroaches or a person living in your attic.[42]

The team finished their 2015 season with a four-game winning streak, taking them into the playoffs,[43][44][42] but they were eliminated in the final four.[45] After the playoffs, they were applauded in the dining hall by other sports teams[46] and invited to the President's house for dinner.[47]

There is a decades-long tradition wherein Seniors kiss the center ice at Faber to say goodbye, after which the team goes up to the roof.[48]

The team has an established judicial system wherein fines are charged to players for varying offenses, including using pet names, dropping baked goods, or using the away game bus bathroom to poop.[49] The offenders must face the court of seniors and answer for their charges, and then put money into a jar for their crimes.[49]

The players dance around in the locker room together, sometimes to Madonna.[49]

At the end of the year banquet, the next year's captain is chosen by team vote.[50][51][52] When two captains are chosen, they are both given A's instead of the C as in the case of Ransom and Holster[51] In Samwell Men's Hockey history only two captains have ever been chosen by a unanimous vote: Jack Zimmermann[53] and Eric Bittle.[52] In William Poindexter's case, the only one who apparently didn't vote for him was Dex himself as he voted for Whiskey.[8]

Almost every year since Jack enrolled at Samwell, the team made it to the playoffs. By Bitty's senior year, it's almost a given that the team will make it to the playoffs.[54] Under Bitty's leadership, Samwell made it to the Frozen Four for the second time in the team's history.[55] Under Bitty's leadership, the team wins the championship.[8]

Ever since Bitty became team captain, each captain has been good at baking because while they're not superstitious, team captains need basic baking knowledge. It's how you win championships.[9]

Class of 2015[]

Class of 2016[]

Class of 2017[]

Class of 2018[]

Class of 2019[]

Class of 2020[]

Other Players[]

  • Einhardt (#25)[64][65] (Class of 2014, 2015, 2016, or 2017; on the team in 2013-2014)
  • Wagner (#3)[66] (Class of 2014, 2015, 2016, or 2017; on the team in 2013-2014)
  • (unknown) (#7)[66](Class of 2014, 2015, 2016, or 2017; on the team in 2013-2014)
  • (unknown) (#17)[66](Class of 2014, 2015, 2016, or 2017; on the team in 2013-2014)
  • John Johnson, Goalie (#0) (Class of 2014)[12]
  • Dave Cohen[12] (Class of 2013)
  • Alex "Bergey" Berger[12] (Class of 2013)
  • Carter Marsh[12] (Class of 2012 or 2013)
  • Nguyen (#10)[66] (Class of 2014, 2015, 2016, or 2017; on the team in 2013-2014 but no longer on the team in 2015-2016)
  • Chen-Stephens (Class of 2014, 2015, 2016 or 2017)[67]

Further Resources[]

Detailed diagram of the Hockey Locker Room

References[]

  1. ↑ http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/58534297481
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 Year 3 Comic 2
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 Year 4, Comic 7
  4. ↑ Year 1, Comic 2
  5. ↑ Year 1, Comic 21
  6. ↑ Year 2, Comic 15
  7. ↑ Year 3, Comic 20
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 Year 4, Comic 23
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 https://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/650097226763386880/i-would-be-enchanted-to-know-more-about-the
  10. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/563295457154433025
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 11.2 Notes on Year 2, Comic 4 - Hazeapalooza
  12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 12.3 12.4 Hockey Shit with Ransom and Holster: Dibs (Year 1 Comic #23)
  13. ↑ Art Extra: Who Are You Guys?
  14. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/522727656286986241
  15. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/529087390372331520
  16. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/529088937860804609
  17. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/529089320381333506
  18. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/569195514673045504
  19. ↑ 19.0 19.1 Year 2 Comic 4
  20. ↑ http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/104451215657
  21. ↑ Year 4, Comic 7
  22. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/545697689719943168
  23. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/546098204341592065
  24. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/546099098281971714
  25. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/546099442139410432
  26. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/546101354981113856
  27. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/546182957879132161
  28. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/548229748602589184
  29. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/548250489817534464
  30. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/552266276962598914
  31. ↑ http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/106639237762
  32. ↑ Year 2 Comic 10
  33. ↑ http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/116157178482
  34. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566790488905117696
  35. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566791420191592450
  36. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566819269644910593
  37. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566821913016938498
  38. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566824303250124800
  39. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566825267264778240
  40. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/566826647136268288
  41. ↑ Year 2 Comic 11
  42. ↑ 42.0 42.1 Year 2 Comic 12
  43. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/570225352301109250
  44. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/569875259110739968
  45. ↑ Year 2 Comic 14
  46. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/582520123866660864
  47. ↑ https://twitter.com/omgcheckplease/status/588734312243068928
  48. ↑ Year 2 Comic 16
  49. ↑ 49.0 49.1 49.2 http://omgcheckplease.tumblr.com/post/142859024607
  50. ↑ Year One, Comic 15
  51. ↑ 51.0 51.1 Year 2, Comic 21
  52. ↑ 52.0 52.1 Year 3, Comic 20
  53. ↑ Year 1, Comic 15
  54. ↑ Year 4, Comic 18
  55. ↑ Year 4, Comic 20
  56. ↑ Year 4 Tweets
  57. ↑ Year 1, Comic 11
  58. ↑ 58.0 58.1 Kickstarter Sketch Jam #3
  59. ↑ Notes on Year Three, Comic 2 - Taddy Tour
  60. ↑ 60.0 60.1 Year 3, Comic 19
  61. ↑ 61.0 61.1 61.2 61.3 Year 4, Comic 9
  62. ↑ Year 3, Comic 16
  63. ↑ Year 4, Comic 21
  64. ↑ Year 1 Comic 16
  65. ↑ http://ngoziu.tumblr.com/post/99698153106/the-farms-just-fine-thanks
  66. ↑ 66.0 66.1 66.2 66.3 Year 1 Comic #19 Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; name ":5" defined multiple times with different content Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; name ":5" defined multiple times with different content Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; name ":5" defined multiple times with different content
  67. ↑ Year 1, Comic 5
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